We all want love and recognition. Many of us are unmarried children, and in adulthood we strive to obtain what was not enough in childhood. We know perfectly well that the surest way to "earn" love is to "be good." And in the pursuit of this, we often go too far, throwing our energy to the right and to the left, 24 hours a day indulging someone. The result: chronic fatigue, apathy and depression. Let's see where our energy flows and how to avoid it. According to scientists, 80% of health depends on the psychological state of a person.
Relatives I often hear from my clients: "Caring for loved ones, the work is taken away all the time, I do not have any strength left for myself". This is the most common and most dramatic mistake that people make. Remember the instructions given to us in the airplane: "First put on the oxygen mask on yourself, and then on the baby." And it is right. Because if you die, nobody will help your child. Nobody helps to your close people, if you die morally, lose interest to yourself and get depressed. This is what one very talented woman wrote, who has been living with clinical depression for five years: "I do not owe anything to anyone. Once, I carried the whole world on my shoulders, broke under its weight and fell to the bottom of existence. I lay for three months, and when I finally got up, I found out that the whole world, everybody I love, perfectly copes well without me. I sighed with relief and went to do what I really wanted. "
You do not have to bear responsibility and immediately implement the wishes of your relatives, friends and acquaintances. If you are full of energy, you have time and inspiration - please! And if you are tired and need a rest, "recharging", learn to say "no." It is also necessary to clearly differ the need and whims of your loved ones.There are different situations, but sometimes we are skillfully manipulated, pumping out energy. Try not to allow this, take care of your strength: suddenly someone really needs urgent help.
The constant care of your mind, body and soul is extremely important. Only a healthy, happy and harmonious person can give the maximum: to his relatives and the world as a whole. Therefore, to help yourself is not pride, but the highest altruism. How can you do good, if you feel bad? How can you love someone without loving yourself?
Toxic people You listen for hours to someone's complaints about life, and then feel tired and devastated. Or after communicating with a certain person, you want to go to the shower and have a good wash. Or someone constantly criticizes you and skeptically perceives all your ideas. Attention: these are toxic people! They constantly complain about something and need something, try to control and manipulate, tactlessly use the time and attention of others, are extremely critical of themselves and of the world, they are "all bad", they are jealous, they blame everything and everybody, but not take responsibility for their lives.
Such people are usually dependent on something (alcohol, food, nicotine, etc.), do not respect themselves and others, demean those who are considered lower in status, evil jokes and rejoice at the failures of their neighbors. You can just listen to them, and your energy flows with a powerful flow. And you feel like a trash can, into which a lot of emotional waste is piled up.
Here again, it is important to differentiate situations. It's one thing when your friend, colleague or friend has a problem, he wants to share or needs advice. And another thing when it happens all the time. From toxic people you need to either isolate yourself or reduce contact with them to a minimum.
Low self-esteem and lack of love are the main causes of neurotic personal relationships. This is a channel of the most powerful energy leakage, because partnerships are extremely important, it takes a large space inside of us. Happy relationships - and most of your space is happy, unhealthy - inside of you a huge black hole is formed, through which the life force leaves. Stop fooling yourself! If you are not happy, understand, what is the reason and try to solve the problem.
You lose energy when your partner does not respect you, constantly criticizes, condemns, ridicules, humiliates, uses you and manipulates you. I do not even talk about physical violence! And it does not matter why he behaves this way: it is important that he does not think about what hurts you, he does not care. Forget that love is a "complex relationship", suffering and be good to somebody! This is the mentality of the victim, which was planted for years! Love is joy, happiness, there is no negative side of it.
Nothing and no one can cause us more pain than we do. Self-rejection, self-criticism, lack of self-respect lead to a powerful leak of our energy. All of us periodically make mistakes. It is important to understand them and find a way out of the situation. If you offend someone, - apologize. If you did something wrong and the situation can not be corrected, try to understand why this happened and do not repeat mistakes in the future.
Understand that selfhealing is unproductive: you better concentrat on solving a problem instead spending energy for nothing, driving yourself into a corner and depriving yourself of vitality. Sense of guilt is a deep-seated inferiority complex comes, which comes from childhood. Realize this and work out: either alone, or with the help of a psychologist.
Jealousy, resentment, self-pity are the same harmful habits as, for example, alcoholism, food addiction, addiction, dependence on social networks, etc. They draw energy from us, make slaves from us. I understand that it is impossible to get rid of everything that hinders you, in one day. Just be aware of your internal problems, understand what they are related to and work with them.
Start with a frank conversation with yourself: without conviction, accusation. Imagine that you share the inmost with the person closest to you. For each "problem point" make an action plan and try every day to do at least a small, but a step towards the goal.
For example, if you understand that jealousy is poisoning you, understand why you are jealous. As a rule, people are jealous because of a lack of self confidence. Perhaps, it comes from childhood or maybe from the negative experience of past relationships, etc. Or maybe you just chose a wrong partner. Or, if you regularly overeat and take too much alcohol: what are you hiding from, why are you defending yourself, why are you not happy, why not satisfied with life? To realize is already a large percentage of success.
In fact, there are so many other channels of energy leakage, each have his own. The main thing is to find them and block them in time. Only then you become a healthy and harmonious person, able to make yourself and others happy.